Friday, March 22, 2013

Why Can't We Accept Compliments?

Recently I told a friend how much I liked the way she'd done her hair.  Her first response was, "Oh no, I just decided to try it a different way."   I thought her hair was beautiful or I wouldn't have said anything.  I wondered, why can't we as women take compliments?  If you tell a man he looks handsome or did something well, he'll smile at you and say "Thanks."  Women on the other hand will explain in detail how your compliment isn't true.  If you tell them they look nice you hear a litany of things wrong with them.  If you are listing all your perceived shortcomings to me when I'm giving you a compliment, what negative things are you telling yourself privately in your mind?  Is it because as young women we are told that if we like how we look we are conceited?  Do we somehow feel we don't deserve compliments because we don't look like models?

Do we think of ourselves as always falling short because Hollywood shows us only beautiful, perfect women?  These are the same women who look more alien to me as time goes by after too many trips to the plastic surgeon.  I was watching The Real Housewives the other day and one of the women there was turned to the side and you could see her extensions.  I started looking at all the women closely, and saw  that there is a veil of masquerade over all of them.  Pieced together with glue and tape then shot in perfect light.  All of them trying to look perfect as they act atrociously and make their catty asides.  Weren't we told it was your behavior rather than your appearance that counts?  Yet this is the mirror we hold ourselves up to.   We have to stop allowing this to be our measuring stick.

Of course, I'm guilty myself of shunning compliments.   Someone recently gave me a very nice compliment on a photo. What did I say?   I said I was grateful for filters. Well, I am grateful for filters, after all it erased 10 years from my face.  From now on though, I'm going to try to just say 'Thank you", and be appreciative of any compliments that may come my way.

We are real women, real bodies, real beauty.  The gracious way to take a compliment is just to say, "Thank you."  Then just for a moment allow yourself to believe what they say.  If someone compliments you, the thought obviously went through their head.  Shouldn't we start feeling good about ourselves?

 
Organizer Prize


For all my readers -- Sorry for the delay -- I am going to extend the prize through April since I have missed several weeks of blogging.   This is a simple idea that I found to be helpful.  My medicine chest sits directly over the toilet being the only wall space available.  Unfortunately due to my clumsy nature too many items have ended up where I can never use them again.  This just slips right inside the cabinet and has a rim so items can not be knocked over easily.  What a great idea!!



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